The Clincher
by Aviditty
Summary: I've got nothing to lose anymore but Snow always finds a way to tarnish everything I've ever loved. Including the Girl on Fire - my reason of hope. A death wish whispered from bated lips. Here's the clincher, this should be you, Snow.


Authors notes:

Oh my lord here it is. This one-shot...ugh it ripped my heart out of my chest while I was writing it. Angst. Angst. Angst. Why do I do this to myself? And more importantly, why do I do this to my babies? ;^; /sobs

This was almost therapeutic to write, though. Things have been rough over here for me so angst and emotion has been very easy to dive into lately.

Rated M for Johanna's potty mouth! Other then that it's tame. Johanna's POV also. She's so fun to write.

Enjoy, my loves~ Hope it doesn't tear at your heart too much~ I loved writing this so I hope you like reading it!

~Aviditty

**The Clincher **

I can't remember how this started, or even when it began to divulge before my very eyes. I don't remember when I became enamored with the girl on fire; I only remember that she wormed her way into my heart, my very soul. I never thought I'd love anyone ever again but fate is a sickening roulette that stops spinning when you least expect it. I knew that all too well.

That fateful night when I spilled that I was slightly smitten by the girl on fire, she admitted that she felt the same. We watched each others games, enraptured by one another, rooting for each others victories, never really knowing if we'd get the opportunity to meet. But then there was the victory tour and I got to see Katniss more and more, and then we were reaped into the Quarter Quell. Why you would say it was fate.

I didn't know what she had that held me there but she had me wrapped around her finger. And it's odd. Such an odd feeling. To feel after so long. I thought I'd never feel for anyone again but then she happened. We happened.

We'd exchange glances, secret smiles, meet up during training sessions. I promised to save her, no matter what it took. No matter what – her life would be spared. No matter what fate would throw at me she would be my priority. Nothing else mattered except her.

~ ღ ~

I laugh, wading in the pool as Katniss tests the water. We decide to kill some time at the poolside. It's only us since it's not exactly swimming weather. The pool was heated though so we were able to swim even in this harsh chilly weather the Capitol's been having.

I wade in the water and watch as Katniss dips her foot in, her eyebrows furrowing as if she's contemplating whether she wants to jump in or not. "C'mon, brainless!" I catcall, taunting her. "The pool's heated! It's not cold – just jump in."

She rolls her eyes and gives me a wave of her hand as if she's saying _yeah yeah. _She sits at the edge of the pool and lets her feet dangle off the edge. Fttt what a pansy. I wade over to her.

"You're only cold because the air is frigid. The water isn't cold."

"Easy for you to say," she snorts. "you seem to be able to handle a lot of weather conditions. I don't tolerate the cold well."

_ If you don't come in soon I'll make you. _ I think.

My lips curve into a mischievous grin and I pat her thigh with my hand. She flinches and gives a little yelp. "See? Your hands are cold." I give her a sneer and grab her by the legs pulling her in with me. "In you go!" I shout, cackling up a storm.

She flails and lets out a few shrieks but eventually she calms down when the shock of being forced into the water fades. She pouts and I just stick my tongue out and waggle my eyebrows.

"Not so bad now, huh?"

"Well it would've been better if I had been allowed to go at my own pace, but yeah, just great."

"Stop being a pouty brat." I snort, nudging her with my foot underwater. "C'mon, lets have some fun."

She rolls her eyes and loosens up after awhile. "Wanna race?" She suggests as we swim over to the more shallow end. "One lap, front to back. Let's see who's the better swimmer."

"It's so on." I sneer as I flex my body preparing for the swim.

"One..." Katniss counts down as we prepare ourselves. "Two..."

I brace myself against the pool wall, ready to kick off with my feet. She shouts "Three!" and we're off. I push off the wall and propel like a jet in the water. She's taking the lead and I decide to dive under water, the perpetual silence greeting me as I stroke. I'm tempted to grab her by her feet and mess with her because I love teasing her but I decide to play fair. May the odds be ever in your favor. Oh so fitting.

I reach the deep end of the pool and do a 360, kicking off the wall and making my way back to the imaginary finish line. It seems like only seconds have passed and I touch the surface but Katniss is already there beaming. Little brat.

"I won." She folds her hands over her chest not able to hide a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah." I tease, shoving her playfully. "Here's a medal."

She laughs and leans back against the edge of the pool as we wade alongside one another. "But really," she asks. "what's my prize."

I snort, "Whatever you want."

She purses her lips thinking for a moment and then her eyes glint with mischief. She bats her eyelashes at me playfully before grabbing me by the shoulders and dunking me underwater, holding me down.

She releases me and I gasp for air, spitting and sputtering as she cackles. "That was for earlier," She snickers. "Payback for torturing me by drowning me in water before I was ready."

"Phht." I run hands through my slick wet hair and chuckle after I've caught my breath. "There, you won the race and you got to torture me back. Anything else you want?"

She grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me in for a wet kiss, obviously not satisfied over her winnings. "There. Now I'm satisfied." She giggles, her eyes shining as she relishes in her victory kiss.

~ ღ ~

Heading back to my room I figured a nice hot shower would be in store, might as well relish in these luxuries while I can, right? Not to mention I'd want to get the chlorine out of my hair. After that I suppose Katniss would show up for another rendezvous since she wanted to see me., despite the fact that we needed rest for the big day tomorrow. I roll my eyes at the thought of getting all dolled up for the interviews tomorrow, bile churned in my stomach at the thought. How badly I wished I could just spit in the Capitol's faces. I'll probably be rehearsing my interview in my head all night at the witty, snarky comments I could make.

I jab my keycard into the slot and I enter the room with a satisfied smirk. That look is completely obliterated when I realize there's an intruder in my room. My safe haven while I'm holed up in the Capitol until the games – gone. Tarnished. I slam my hand against my mouth trying so hard not to gag up the bile rising in my stomach. This isn't real. It can't be. That bastard!

The stench of roses and blood fills my senses until I'm reeling and my head is spinning. I thought I'd never see him up close in person again but here he is invading my space like the self-righteous asshole that he is. _GET OUT! _My heart pounds against my ribcage and it takes everything in my willpower not to run over and slam my fist in his face. I clench my fists, adrenaline is my drug right now.

My head was spinning I couldn't even form a coherent question. I just kept asking myself, what, why, and how? Good God get out! Leave!

I cross over to where he's sitting so nonchalantly on my bed and clench my fist dying to swing. Oh God how I wish I could wipe that smirk off his face. I whirl on him with my words, hissing with deliberation, "What the fuck are you doing here?! Get out!"

My words are venomous, hateful, yet he doesn't even blink. He just chuckles and motions for me to take a seat in the black velvet chair near the window. Like heck I would. When he sees I'm making no motion to move he just gives me a shake of his head, so mocking and condescending.

"Now Johanna, is that anyway to greet a friend? After all, we haven't seen each other in…what? 4 years?"

_Friend. You're kidding me right? He must've been snorting coke before he came 'cause he's as high as a kite if he thinks I'm a friend. Fucking bastard. _

"I don't think the murderer of my friends and family deserves a welcome committee like you're some kind of King." I spat through clenched teeth. "Burn in Hell!"

He leans back with a sardonic smile. "Still a spitfire I see. And quite a potty mouth on you. Didn't your family teach you manners?"

"I don't think manners apply when you're speaking to the spawn of Satan." I narrow my eyes and cross my arms across my chest so I'm not tempted to throw punches in his direction. So much loathing, so much anger surges through me. He makes me sick.

_How the heck did he get in anyways? Isn't this an invasion of privacy? Not that that matters to him. _

"How excited are you to be in the Quarter Quell, Johanna?" He asks with fake sincerity. "Quite an honor to be reaped not once, but twice. Perhaps you'll live to tell the tale."

_Can a bolt of lightning strike him right now? Please. Just do me the favor. _

"Get to the point, Snow." I hiss, eyes shining with venom. How dare he have the audacity to mock all the victors and call us honored to be reaped again. "Why are you here?"

"Now now. Patience is a virtue. You seem to have none." He taunts while fixing his rose pinned to his chest. "Idle chitchat never hurt anyone. How's Finnick?"

Thank God he was smart enough to say my best friends name. Had he said my family I would've hauled over and beat him to a bloody pulp before he could even blink. Sarcastic douchebag.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" I purse my lips and huff. "He became a prostitute at the age of fourteen thanks to you. Yeah. I'm sure he's just freaking peachy."

President Snow leans forward with his hands on his chin as if he was eagerly awaiting my every response. "His lover is alive and well, however. And for that he's grateful."

Venom shines in my eyes and it takes everything in my willpower not to scream and condemn him right then and there. I'm sick of this charade. This stupid little game he's playing. Clearly he's come for a reason. Stop beating around the bush.

I narrow my eyes as hatred revels from my every core. I can't bare to be in the same room as him, let alone hold a conversation with him. He needs to leave or I'll drag him out with my bare hands. He can't hurt me anymore so why is he here? Why is he trying to get under my skin? He has no way to control me. He doesn't own me – no one does.

"What brought you here?" I annunciate every word with poison laced in-between. He looks at me like he knows nothing of what I'm talking about. I get to the point. "There's nothing you can hurt me with anymore."

He quirks a brow and a sickening smirk creeps upon his lips. "Really now?"

"I've got nothing to lose." I take a jab at the door midair signaling him to leave. "Let me be."

_There's no one left that I love. You took them all a long time ago. You can't hurt me anymore._

He looks at me with pure contempt and scours my body with his eyes. He begins in a soft tone, completely full of malice. "That is where you're wrong, my dear."

I glare at him with eyes set to kill. He elaborates, "I've been getting countless reports from various sources that you and Katniss Everdeen have been…close."

My heart drops into my stomach like the drop of a pin. Just the sound of her name uttered from his lips is enough to make me vomit. No. No. NO! I try to show that it doesn't affect me. That what he said was nothing to me.

When I don't respond he continues as if he was reading from a piece of paper leaving right where he left off. "Not only are you messing with Katniss and Peeta's image of star-crossed lovers, you're also upsetting the balance of things. You're giving Miss Everdeen something to believe in…and I don't like that. I don't like that at all. The more hope she has the more dangerous she'll be. Do you understand, Johanna?"

"Good." I spat, adrenaline coursing through my veins. "I hope she eats you alive!"

"She won't if I eliminate her." His voice is calm and collected as if this was an everyday chat and not a matter of life and death. I might as well been shot on the spot. It's like I've been hit in the gut and all the wind has rushed out of me from the words. The death sentence placed upon the girl who gave me a reason to feel again. Oh God no.

"What good will that do you?" I hiss, stuffing my hands in my pockets as my blood pressure rises. "Killing her... what good will come of that? Huh?"

Snow's eyes are glinting with an ulterior motive laced within. He thinks he can throw the final punch but I won't let him. No. I won't let him get under my skin. He lets out a chuckle and shakes his head mockingly, "I don't need Katniss Everdeen. I could eliminate her now if I wanted to. She is a beacon of hope, however, and if she's gone everyone suffers – not just you. Really, would you want to tarnish that? Would you become so self-absorbed in your love for her that you would put her life at stake?

"

"I don't love Katniss!" I spit.

"Not now you don't." He states crossing his arms over his chest. "But you are falling for her and that could turn to love."

I swallow hard and anger surges through me. I would never put her life in jeopardy no matter how I felt. Not hers, nor anyone else. Snow is right, Katniss has given me hope, hope for a better life. To somehow, someday, say '_I made it'._

"She means a lot to you, despite what your bitter attitude may suggest." Snow states, all knowing. "You may be smitten right now but things could change in the future. That future could change to love, to hope, to peace, and I would never allow you to have that."

_Because I made an ass out of you for refusing your offer. Because I wouldn't sell my body to your whores of the Capitol. Because I wouldn't allow you to control me or break me. And for that I would pay again for defying everything you sought to keep in your control. The Mockingjay. The girl on fire. The object of my affections. _

The room stills, so quiet you could hear the drop of a pin. Snow's voice is a venomous whisper, so sharp it sends shivers up my spine. "You don't want her to die, do you?"

_Never._

"I could kill her right now. Drag her inside and make you watch as I slit her throat. I could drag out her death and air it on live television so that everyone knows the Mockingjay is no more. "

_I'd rather you kill me. Take me instead. She's got everything going for her. I've got nothing. I volunteer._

"Do you understand, Johanna?" He hisses, getting up and staring straight into my eyes, only inches apart. His breath is putrid, reeking. "I can make this a reality. Do you want Katniss to die?"

I swallow hard and glare daggers at him. I shake my head no, not daring myself to utter the words aloud.

He grabs my chin and yanks me so that I'm staring him eye-to-eye. "Answer me!" He bellows, not even bothering to lower his voice anymore. "Out loud."

"No." I shake my head and shove him off of me, yanking my chin out of his grasp. "No!" I spat, stumbling backwards after swiping at his hands. "I'll never let you hurt her!"

He smirks devilishly and satisfaction is written all over his face. "Good. Very good." He fixates his rose as if he's about to leave and I pray to God he does because I can't stand to be in his presence any longer. "I'm glad we're on the same page, Johanna. You have till tomorrow to rid yourself of Katniss Everdeen. Make her hate you or else she dies."

He gives a stiff nod, an arrogant smile still shining on his face as he bids farewell to me. He opens the door and lets himself out but not before cackling, "Good luck."

I swallow hard, so much hate, so much loathing rushing through my system. I grab the vase on the end table and hurl it to where his face was mere seconds ago. Nothing but anger and hate surging through me, threatening to burst just as the vase had moments prior. I fall to the ground shaking. I can't do this.

~ ღ ~

I hear a soft laugh echo through the hallway and I know that's Katniss voice without a doubt. It's late at night but my door is unlocked just for her to slip inside. She wanted to see me again since we wouldn't get the opportunity tomorrow. And so she slips inside my room, silently and stealthily as if she's been doing this for awhile. I hear the lock click as she pads over to me but my back is facing towards her. I can't bare to see her because if I do I know I'll break down.

"Hey." Her voice is sweet and supple like butter – just enough to make me melt. She envelopes me in a backwards embrace, her hands intertwined around my neck, her skin smelling of lavender and shea butter. I tense up at her touch – I can't allow myself to become putty in her hands. I need to protect her and for that I need to break her.

She notices that tension and breaks free from her hold on me. She turns to face me and a look of pure confusion rips through her eyes. "What's wrong?" Is the first question to leave her lips. "What's with the cold shoulder?"

I swallow hard and coldly break the ice, "Katniss, I need you to leave."

It's like a knife stabbed in her heart – I know it, I feel it. It's radiating from her every pore. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion and she shakes her head not as if she didn't understand what I was asking of her.

"Wait. What?" She touches my shoulder and tries to scour my eyes for info about what's going on. She won't find any. I made sure to put up my walls, so tall that she wouldn't be able to hurl herself over them. "I thought you wanted to hang out again since we'll be too busy tomorrow."

"I changed my mind." My voice is stiff, unforgiving. "About everything." She retches her hand away from me like she just dipped it in acid.

"What do you mean _about everything_?" She narrows her eyes clouded with confusion. I can feel her heart pounding in my head; her very lifeline shattering before me.

"Us." I grunt and cross my arms over my chest. It hurts. It hurts so bad. All these lies that need to spill like a dam. How she'll never forgive me. How things will never be the same. I'm a monster. I'll be her little monster.

"Alright, Johanna," Katniss' voice rises a couple octaves as confusion starts to turn to anger. "what on earth did I do this morning hat made you decide to fight with me? Cause last time I checked you were all over me 12 hours prior and things were peachy!"

_You didn't do anything! _ I want to scream it so badly until my lungs are burning. I want to envelop her in my arms and act like nothing bad will happen if I do. But I know that's a naïve fantasy. _It's all Snow's fault. It's all that bastards fault! I can't let you die. I can't. We can't be together because he'll tear you from my very hands. I'd rather have you hate me than not have you here at all. _

"What changed?" Her voice cracks.

"You're not who I thought you were Katniss," I lie through my teeth, clenching my fists so I stay strong and don't break down. I summon as much fake anger as I can muster to get me through this. "I'm starting to see what kind of person you really are."

She glares at me and sputters, "What kind of person I am? Well, jeez, why don't you lighten me on that topic then? We all know I'm an awful human being who doesn't deserve to be a leader, or the girl on fire, but yet you like me anyways. You said that!"

"You're selfish. Too absorbed in yourself to see the pain that you cause others. You're leading Peeta along like he's a dog on a leash and you think it's okay to play that card with me, too. No, honey, I don't play like that." I spat.

The look on her face is completely mortified which changes to wrath in a split second. It doesn't take much to get Katniss riled up which is probably good for my sake. She grabs me by the shirt and shoves me against the wall, her face inches from mine. "I'm not playing with you!" She hisses, clenching my shirt with a death grip. "Peeta and I – Johanna's it's just an act. _AN ACT. _I care about him but not the way I do for you. I like you! I _LIKE YOU. _But you know what, maybe that's a mistake."

"Maybe it is." I hiss through clenched teeth. "I know it was for me. I should've never bothered with you. I'm starting to see how pathetic you really are."

It's amazing how sorrow can change to wrath. Perhaps its because anger is more acceptable that sadness to most and that's why it's easier to tolerate and embrace. If you get angry you're a force to me reckoned with. If you cry you're weak.

She shakes her head in disgust. "I must've been too blind to see how awful you really are too."

I wrench out of her grasp and smash my elbow into her ribs, making her double over from the shock, gasping. It gives me enough of an opportunity to shove her against my bed and crush her with my body. She fights once she gets the wind back in her lungs but she's no match for me. I crush my lips against hers, so rough and chaste and I devour her completely. I need to taste her one last time. The sweet, heavenly ecstasy that's her lips indulges me. I nip at her lower lip thrust my tongue in her mouth. She melts before me like she always does because my kisses are something she can't fight back.

It's a rough and hard mess of a make-out session but I don't care because it'll be the last I ever have with her. She moans softly and I deepen the kiss. I lap at the blood from her lower lip which I had bitten to hard and I pull apart, panting for breath. She stares into my eyes, swallowing hard as if my kisses were made of poison. She lays there unmoving as I pull myself away from her. I wipe my lips with the back of my hand and murmur in a low voice, "I want nothing to do with you anymore."

A tear glides down her cheek, her walls shattering, her anger subsiding when the reality sinks in. I yearn to cup her cheek and kiss it away but I can't. I can't. Oh God, what have I done? If it's for the best then why does it hurt so bad?

She stands up and gives me the most heart-breaking expression I've seen – the love and warmth completely erased as if it was never there in the first place. She lets out a sigh and gives me one last look from the corner of her eye.

"Whatever I did..." Her voice is a whisper in the darkness. "Whatever made your brain decide to do a 360 on me. Whatever it was that made you hate me..." She chokes on a sob she was trying to hold. "I'm sorry." And with that she leaves like a whisper almost as if she was never there.

I sink to the floor after watching her leave and my heart is completely sliced down the middle. I clutch my chest as if my heart is hemorrhaging and the tears finally escape. I make no effort to stop them, nor to remove myself off the floor. It hurts to bad to think and to feel knowing that I just left Katniss walk out of my life and I have no idea if I'll ever get her back.

"You'll never forgive me, will you?" I whisper in the darkness, staring at the door at the light filtering in, expecting Katniss to come back. But she won't – I know she won't.

I sit in silence just relishing in the darkness looming around me. It soothes the pain a little but not enough to get me by. I yearn to get up off the floor, slam the door, and cry myself to sleep in my bed but I can't. I just can't. How on earth am I supposed to sleep after tonight?

"I'll kill you, Snow." I hiss, shaking with sobs. "I'll slit your throat with my bear hands. I'll make you pay for the hell you've put me through."

I make that silent vow tonight – a sacred promise to bring nothing but condemnation onto the man for everything he's done. He's put every victor through hell and tortured them in some way. It's about time he pays for his sins. I'll put an end to him and when I do I'll tell Katniss the truth and why I had to do this. How I needed to protect her at all cost because she was the epitome of hope for all of Panem. I only hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me for what I had to do.

Maybe...just maybe when this is all said and done and Snow is killed, she'll be able to forgive me. Maybe we'll be able to move on and repair what we once had. Things can go back to the way they were before. I hold onto the precious hope and pray that the odds may end up being in my favor someday.


End file.
